Meet The Kids In Alabama With The Most Insane Names

I have to be careful here.

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For many, many reasons.

I know someone who works for Tuscaloosa County, Alabama, and regularly sees birth certificates.

That individual was able to access some statewide information on the topic, and I probably should not be telling you this.

She has always given me a rundown of some of the, well, uh, more unusual names.

Now, we have some official records, first names only, of course, of actual names given to children in Alabama and around the country, for some more fun.

I can't help but wonder why a parent would do this to an innocent child.

Here are my top 5 favorites:

5. ARSON

Yeah, that's right, Arson.

What are you setting this child up for later in life?

4. BANANA

I enjoy the fruit as much as the next person. However, why would you ever do this?

3. COVID

I would not have believed this one if I had not seen it with my own two eyes.

COVID caused NOTHING but death and horrible things! So you name your baby after it?

LORD, HELP ME.

2. BALLS

I don't know what to say. I can't deal with it anymore.

AND NOW....THE WORST NAME EVER.....

1. BARBIE CUE

Nobody loves BBQ more than I do. It's just a fact.

But, c'mon, man! Barbie Cue? This child will be teased and ridiculed every day of her life!

Roasted, ha, see what I did there?

OK, a few honorable mentions:

BURP....yes, BURP.

ELLA VATOR. This is too crazy for words. These parents are on drugs.

F. INGOOD. OK, I'm done. I can't handle it anymore.

They should have their kids taken away by the state.

Maybe that's too harsh.