My No Years Resolution

The one resolution I've been successful at keeping is refusing to make them. Perhaps fear of certain failure prevents me from embracing shiny new ideas or perhaps I'm lazy. I'm inclined to believe it is a combination of both.

If a new year was all that was required to turn over a new leaf then no one would ever screw up the year on reports, or checks and we would automatically lose five pounds and look ten years younger.

I'll admit, I'm tempted every year to strive to be a better version of myself but reality sets in around noon on January 1st and I spend the remainder of my holiday ruminating over what an abject failure I am. But if I WERE to make New Years Resolutions, I would probably commit to working out regularly, cook dinner more often, do laundry regularly and visit my plastic surgeon more often.

Let's face it. Statistics are conspiring against us. According to a recently published article, of the 62% of people who make New Years resolutions, only 8% are successful. 24% NEVER succeed and have failed on EVERY resolution EVERY year. I don't need that kind of pressure. I prefer to sprinkle my self-improvement attempts throughout the year and on random days. For example, I will never start anything on a Monday. Guaranteed failure out of the gate. Why? Because when I fall off the wagon on Tuesday, I tell myself I will start over the following Monday and live/eat/lay up like the world is ending for the remainder of the week. I start everything on Wednesday and usually end up sticking to my plan far longer than I would if I'd started on Monday.

You probably think I'm pathetic and I am inclined to agree with you. So inspire me. What are your New Years Resolutions and what are past resolutions you've been successful at keeping?