Alabama Man Hit By Rogue Shopping Cart Piloted By Complete Jerk
BREAKING, HIGHLY IMPORTANT NEWS
-Northport, Alabama
An Alabama man doing his daily shopping at Publix in Northport was struck by a shopping cart injuring his right hip. The cart was being pushed by an older, white male who clearly saw his victim yet recklessly continued pushing.
After being struck by the man and his cart, the victim apologized to the jerk who assaulted him, seemingly out of a polite reflex, only to be verbally accosted by the mean old man.
The victim was stunned by this behavior even when considering that he was a "crusty, old jerky man", a direct quote from the victim.
After assaulting the victim with his cart, the old loser continued yelling nonsense like "You should have been walking more to the side" and "It's YOUR fault" among other swear words and hard-to-understand jibberish.
The victim was then once again accosted in the Northport Publix parking lot. As the old buzzard b*****d drove by the victim, he started yelling more stupid meanderings and seemed to be at risk for a medical event. Possibly a stroke.
Witnesses at the store all agreed that the old codger was clearly in the wrong and a big, fat jerk. The consensus was that the victim was minding his own business while looking for the right cottage cheese when he was attacked from behind by "Walter" or whatever his name was.
The other shoppers all seemed to agree that he certainly looked like a "Walter". You know, like the famous grumpy, old puppet of comedian Jeff Dunham.
According to reports, the local police were not called but would have almost certainly arrested the crotchety old jerk, or at least given him a very stern talking to.
OK, OK, I am the victim of this incident!
I must confess. It was not cool. This man rammed his cart into me and then didn't even have the decency to say he was sorry.
I APOLOGIZED! After he started cussing me out and being really unpleasant, I took my apology back.
Look, when someone is looking straight ahead and you're behind them, you are the one that should be careful not to hit the person.
Isn't that just basic common knowledge? Plus, I really felt the verbal attack was over the line.
What in the world is wrong with people? Is everyone that cranky and ticked off all the time?
Cue the band and let's do We are........
*Courtesy of YouTube/Oxygene80
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