14 Things Alabamians Need To Know And Remember

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These things say a lot about me.

Here are 14 things to know and remember..

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in jail.

2. Drink responsibly means don’t spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9pm is the new midnight.

4. At the start of a brand new day, I’m off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older i get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When i say “the other day”, i could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.

9. I finally got 8 hours sleep. It took me 3 days.

10. I run like the winded.

11. When someone asks me what i did over the weekend, i ask “why, what did you hear”.

12. When i ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east”.

13. Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life and makes your heart race. We call those people cops.

14. I hate when couples argue in public and i miss the beginning and don’t know whose side i’m on.

And now you know.