Ten Reasons to Hate the Vanderbilt Commodores
Alabama travels to Nashville this weekend to take on the Vanderbilt Commodores. Are you ready? It's time to get hype with the Hater's Guide to Vanderbilt Football and ten reasons to hate the 'Dores.
1. Their team name is stupid.
Vanderbilt University is named after the late Cornelius Vanderbilt, and guess what this fat cat's nickname was? Commodore. Harp about tradition all you want, but come on. That'd be like renaming Auburn to the Cow College YellaWoods.
2. Their stadium has Legion46.
The turf is about as legit as their team this year. It's fake, y'all.
3. Back to the name for a minute...
How are y'all gonna call yourselves Commodores, a name for naval officers, when Nashville isn't near an ocean? Of what the heck are you a commanding officer? A dingy on the Tennessee River? Stupid.
4. Their slogan is ridiculous.
Anchor Down? Again: into what? The nasty river? Get out of here with that trash.
5. Speaking of trash, let's talk about their bowl record.
4 wins. 3 losses. 1 tie. 4-3-1, people. That's not a bowl game record; that's a dang kindergarten progress report.
6. Their "stadium" seats 40,550.
You could fit 2.5 of them in Bryant-Denny. And the sad part? Vandy can't even fill 1/3 of their tiny stadium. Anchor Down to the open seats--there are plenty of them!
7. Their record last year was abysmal.
6-7 overall and 3-5 in the SEC
LEast. That's something to toot your stupid foghorn about!
8. They seriously blast a foghorn in their stadium.
This is what happens when all the good traditions are taken, I suppose. They can't CLANGA CLANGA cowbells like Mississippi State or, heck, even have a stupid eagle like Auburn. Instead, they have their ROTC blast an foghorn when the team takes the field and after every score and win. I'm sure the six fans in attendance really enjoy it.
9. They're good this year, but they've been a dumpster fire for a loooooong time.
That Saturday upset over Kansas State? Their first win over a ranked non-conference opponent since 1946.
10. Their players are obviously masochists.
Why else would you knowingly taunt the Crimson Tide? Look at this dude.
There you have it, Bama fam: 10 reasons to hate the Vanderbilt Commodores. I'll stop talking trash now and let the Tide handle business on Dudley Field Saturday night.