My Brother Colored His Hair And Now It’s Green

On Sunday, my brother indulged his vanity and allowed my eldest sibling to color his hair and the end result was literally ugly.

While laying out at my brother Lamar's house over the weekend, the topic of men coloring their hair found it's way into our collective conversation.

I was trolling around in the shallow-end trying to cool off and had focused most of my energies on not fainting from the frigid water. I wasn't paying complete attention but I was made aware that Keith was considering returning his gray hair to the glory days of it's youth using a box of hair color.

In my heart I knew disaster was unfolding before my eyes, but I remained quiet. I suspect that deep-down in my innermost I wanted what happened to actually happen.

Before I could finish working through my moral dilemma about my silence in vocalizing that coloring his hair was a bad idea, he and Lamar were gone in a blaze of glory.

Somehow I managed to escape the reality that carnage a la Clairol was happening in a master bathroom just a few short yards away. I was busy texting with someone and noticed the brief flurry of activity too late before being informed that Keith had returned to Lamar's Lush Locks salon for round two to repeat the process.

I nearly stumbled beneath the weight of my guilt.

A hot pink float drifted by. I climbed on and laid down.

A short time later, Keith emerged to sit in the shade underneath a patio umbrella while his hair continued to process.

Once I was certain Keith had passed the point of no return, I offered helpful tips I'd heard over the years that were rumored to increase the odds of a successful color.

Without realizing what he was doing, Keith began humming the chorus of 'Love Me Tender.'

"Dude. You can't seriously think you're about to end up looking like Elvis,' I said in disbelief. He ignored me and continued to softly hum uninterrupted.

Keith's collision with the truth finally arrived. He excused himself to rinse the solution out of his hair.

Time ticked by so slowly during those ten minutes.

I heard the door open from inside the garage. I looked up and waited as he drew closer. As the sun's rays shone round about his head my first thought was, 'how unfortunate.'

Lost in a fog of denial, I lowered my sunglasses in the futile hope that perhaps the polar had worn off the lenses of my Dollar General's.

My niece was matter of fact in her assessment. 'It looks green,' Morgan offered with an astounding lack of panic.

Once the dam was breached, everyone piled on to confirm Keith's hair was an actual shade of foliage.

Last night I requested a selfie but he refused. See our text exchange below:

If you see Keith be sure and compliment him on his new 'do.