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Words With Husbands

Kimberly Madison
Denied the sweet taste of annihilation.

After a long hiatus, my husband Perry and I reentered the world of Words With Friends over the holidays. Our first game didn’t end the way I’d hoped after he thrashed me with the final score of 364 to 324. The competitive beast within me roared to life and after devoting a considerable amount of time to strategery (too bad WWF won’t accept that word), I beat him in a manner that should carry charges.

Barely five moves into our third game, I took an early lead. From the other side of the couch I began hearing indications of Perry’s disgruntlement at a lack of vowels. ‘I’m fixing to quit this game and start a new one.’ Thinking this was obviously a joke because of the pathetic excuse for forfeiting a game, I laughed between placing a word that would net me 52 points. Again I heard rumblings of discontent and what I presumed were empty threats to start again.

Noticing a notification badge, I opened the app anticipating my next move only to be informed the game was over and I’d won due to ‘MontyBon’s’ forfeiture.

‘Are you joking? You seriously quit?” I was incredulous.

‘Yeah, I couldn’t get any vowels,’ he responded in a manner that suggested I lacked the IQ points to comprehend his justification.

‘Well, tough luck! You can’t just quit a game because you aren’t getting the letters you want.’

‘You won so why does it matter?’

‘It matters because I’m not interested in just ‘beating’ you. I want to assault you with the score and I can’t do that if you don’t let the game run it’s course.’

‘Okay, okay,’ he conceded as he moved tiles around on his phone.

Currently, we’re in the early stages of our fourth game and I’m leading by 18 points with no verbal threats of forfeiting the current game. Evidently, vowels are in plentiful supply.


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