Unpopular Opinion: Candy Corn is the Absolute WORST
The best part of Halloween is the candy. This is not up for debate. Sure, your little party may be fun and your costume might be super cute and/or witty, but you know what? Neither of these things can bring you the joy of a Reese’s Pumpkin. Eating one of those bad boys is like having a throng of angels wrap you in a fleece blanket that just came out of the dryer.
What I am trying to say here is that Halloween candy is my JAM. (I love taking a few pieces of my kid’s haul because MOM TAX, but that’s another post for another day, friends.) I am ALL ABOUT those sweet treats, but HOO BOY, do I make an exception for one abomination against the Lord.
Candy corn is TRASH. I said it. Fight me.
Candy corn tastes like someone took a huge bowl of chalk and added about ten tons of corn syrup and a metric buttload of food coloring. I haaaaate it.
I would rather have my taste buds burnt off with a branding iron than eat candy corn.
I would rather eat those cheap little black and orange taffy things that taste like rotten peanut butter and grandma tears.
I would rather become an Auburn fan.
I would rather drink that hot garbage water that pools in the bottom of a dumpster.
If you told me the only sweet I could ever eat was candy corn, I would become a hard core sugar-free fanatic.
I just hate candy corn, man. I can’t stress that enough. Am I crazy? Where are my fellow candy corn haters at? Y’all sound off and let me know I am not alone.