I came to a painful realization about myself this past weekend.

Whatever minute accomplishments I’ve achieved in my 36 years on this earth were nullified by a man I’ve never met who lives hundreds of miles away from Tuscaloosa.


Kevin Levasseur accomplished the impossible. He finished 29th in the Baltimore Marathon with a time of 2 hours, 46 minutes, 58 seconds. He ran a grueling 26.2 miles in flip-flops.


Yes, flip-flops.






Why he punished his poor peds isn’t really clear. I assume obtaining a record of some sort was in his sights (he’s got ‘Awesomest Ever’ in the bag), but regardless of his intentions, the man is MONEY.


Two weeks ago, I joined thousands of other Tuscaloosans at Sokol park to participate in the 5K phenomenon, The Color Run. My running shoes could not have offered more support and cushion had they been pillows strapped to my feet. For edification, a 5K is 3.1 miles, and I crossed the finish line roughly 32 minutes after the start. I averaged 10 minutes per mile, while Levasseur averaged 6:38 wearing flip-flops.


The next morning, I was so stiff and sore I could only point at whatever was in my line of sight and make an odd grunting noise in the direction of my husband in the hopes he would assist me.


I suppose the definition of "success" is subjective to each person’s point of view, but when my program director, Monk, attempts to tackle his next race, I’m going to encourage him to complete the course running backward.


And juggling.


The bar has been raised.