Robin Williams Was Not a Coward; The Way We Speak About Mental Illness Needs to Change
The news of Robin Williams' death was a shock. I spent most of last night scrolling through Twitter and Facebook, reading tributes friends had posted--sweet words, touching words, photos from sets and sound stages and links to movie clips. Among these eulogies was something that shocked me even more, and I want to take this opportunity to set the record straight.
Someone I know made a rather haughty and obviously disrespectful post last night that I can't quite seem to shake. You see, the person in question wanted us all to know that Robin Williams was a selfish man; only a selfish person would take his own life, and doing so means all the tributes to Robin are somehow now undeserved.
I'm appalled that someone could be so brazenly insensitive, but honestly--seeing that post just made me more sad: there are still people, countless people, who think that mental illness is the result of weakness or some sort of character flaw.
These people do nothing but perpetuate the antiquated stigma surrounding mental illness. They make it harder for those who need help to get it. They make people afraid to reach out or speak up for fear of being perceived as somehow 'lesser than' simply because of a disease.
And that's what Depression and other mental illnesses are: disease. It's not something you can control. When you're depressed, you're engulfed in a dreadful darkness that leaves you devoid of joy and any other feeling but an aching, empty sadness that you can't just "get over" by "looking on the bright side." I know. I have been there.
Living with Depression is like trying to swim across an ocean: some days you seem to make progress in swift sunny strides, and some days it's all you can do to stay afloat--but at no point can you magically rise above the waves and walk on water until you reach the shore.
If you're reading this, I want you to know that mental illness is not a sign of weakness.
If you were diagnosed with diabetes, you'd take insulin or other medications to manage your condition; wouldn't you? Why is mental illness so different? Why do we still hold on to the outdated belief that a person's mental illness is her own fault?
Why does it take the tragic death of a beloved celebrity to bring this issue to light?
Robin Williams was a brilliant actor and gifted comedian, and he managed to smile and make us laugh despite the pain he felt inside. I think that's why his death came as such a surprise: it's hard to believe a man so full of laughter and light could harbor such feelings of darkness and isolation. It couldn't be true--he always seemed so happy.
You never know the struggles another person is facing, so please take a moment to think before you spew out some ignorant vitriol about mental illness. Your caustic words may do more damage than you know.
I leave you with this quote, one I hope you will take to heart: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
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