Perry’s Big Green Tractor

After many long months of 'exhaustive product research', delivery dates and rescheduled delivery dates, my husband Perry is now the proud owner of a John Deere tractor.

I don't know (or necessarily care, really) what model or version it is, but it's very shiny and the seat uses some type of hydrological sorcery when you sit down to turn the machine on.

Perry has consumed hundreds if not thousands of YouTube videos over the past year of every make and model tractor available to man (I used italics because I need you to know I'm dead serious).

His appetite for all things tractor was insatiable. Tractors going forward, tractors going backwards, sideways, driving over things, going up hills, going down hills, with buckets, without buckets, all at extremely slow, sedate speeds and pretty much in any scenario you can conceive of that might involve a tractor.

I took this image one evening several months ago after hearing 30 minutes of an engine humming in the background and looked over curious to see what could possibly make that much noise for that long. I discovered this:

This, my friends, is what real happiness and joy look like.

In hindsight, the HOURS he spent watching tractor videos on YouTube was basically the equivalent of getting a degree in Tractor from Phoenix University.

The first day he drove his new tractor, he was able to grade our deeply-pitted gravel drive to PERFECTION in under 30 minutes despite having never owned one before. I honestly don't think I could have hired someone to complete the job any better.

Needless to say, he's still on Cloud 9 which is why I continue to let him think I was joking when I announced my intentions to learn how to drive it.