Instagram Will Not Leave Me Alone
I guess maybe it’s because I’m so cool. Maybe it’s my new haircut or the fact that I’ve been lifting weights lately but Instagram has launched an all out visual assault on my life.
What is it Instagram? Why me? Why do you continue to force yourself into each day? Even going as far as to show up in my dreams. You’re there every morning when I wake up and you’re the last thing my eyes see before closing.
You, with your cute kittens, beer pics, annoying duck faced selfies, beautiful landscapes and hot, all female group shots at the beach! Everything I lay my eyes upon becomes the subject of heavy photographic consideration. The strategic placement of small inanimate objects and what they would look like with the ‘Nashville,’ ‘X-Pro II,’ or ‘Willow’ filters run though my head. Would I add a border? Will it need to be brightened up? Would I need to blur out everything around a certain part of the shot with that teardrop thing?
You’re everywhere I look! You’re there when I’m in the doctor’s waiting room and you’ve even followed me into the bathroom! As a matter fact, weren’t you there the other day when I was talking an Epsom salt bath?
When I meet a new person, I immediately think about what kind of picture they’d have featured on their Instagram feed.
I find myself praying that I used enough hashtags for everyone in the world will see my picture! The anticipation of how many new “likes” I’ll have when I tap your app on my phone has surely been the reason for the tight muscles in my back and not from lifting weights twice a week.
But… in the same breath, you do have tons of pictures of beer and all female group shots at the beach, both of which I like. Not to mention, who doesn’t love a cute kitten?
Maybe you’re actually good for me. You help me to see the world in a different way. In fact, you give me insight into how others see the world too.
Also, I do love getting new “likes” and new followers. I love how the half decent shot I just took of my shoe can be made to look professional with one of your twenty unique filters. I’m a professional photographer because of you and I’ll forever be grateful for that. You’ve helped me to make lasting photographic memories that I’ll cherish for years to come.
Okay Instagram, maybe I need to cancel that restraining order against you. I kinda think I love you.