Here’s The Ridiculous Reason I’m Not Trash-Talking Ole Miss This Week

Ole Miss Hate Week is a beautiful and glorious thing, but this year, I will have NO PART OF IT. Want to know why?

I've engaged in some pretty petty trash talk the past two years, and I am now abstaining from doing so. I am a terribly superstitious idiot who also has some OCD tendencies (I say that as a joke, but no really: I take medication for it), and in my mind, my trash talk could be the deciding factor in this game.

I ran my mouth in 2014, and what happened? Same thing last year.

So this year, as much as it PAINS me to do so, I will not make fun of Chad "Swag" Kelly or Hugh Freeze's dumb face.

I'm keeping my mouth shut. Magical thinking always bodes well for the Tide--this is why I wear a specific pair of earrings on Saturdays. I also have one houndstooth headband I refuse to wear on game days because I bought it the day before we lost to South Carolina in 2010, but that's another story.

Another good sign this year: the absence of ESPN's College GameDay. They were in Oxford in 2014--this was when I first learned the true nature of Katy Perry, Ole Miss Fan--and in Tuscaloosa last year. GameDay's in Louisville this year, so we're good. We got this. Roll Dang Tide.