Happy Birthday, Diva

Suprima Diva,

First things first (I'm the realest), Happy Birthday. I'm not sure what time of the day you were born, but I think I felt a polar shift on my way to work this morning so it must have been early.

Who could have imagined that a chain reaction started at the second of your birth, that would trigger the inevitability of earth's collision with 'diva debris balls'. Which brings me to the question we're most often asked: why do we call each other 'diva'?

Aside from the fact that we just are, it's also fun watching people's reactions when they get the joke.

Just in case additional clarification is needed, I offer the following Top Six reasons why we call each other 'Diva'.

6
We Cry Together
Remember when I said someone smelled like 'an old shut up house' and you cried because you said you'd been trying to find a way to describe that smell your entire life ?
And remember when you cried at lunch a few months ago because you were reminded of someone you kissed when you were younger that you now think is grody?
And remember last week when Tyler accidentally spit a chicken nugget remnant into your mouth and you started to describe what it tasted like and I started gagging so hard I cried?
That's why we call each other 'diva'.
5
We Know How To Do Things
Like wield machetes (way over-hyped).
Handsaws are for suckers, but machetes and pumpkins and all the other stuff we do are for divas.
4
We're Strong
Mentally and physically.
Also, that weed eater was stupid anyway.
3
We Make Things Happen
Big deal. People get cronuts on their face all the time.
Oh, wait. No they don't because you have to go to New York or know someone in New York to get them.
We make other stuff happen too.
2
We Create The Best Nicknames
Out of the need to be able to speak freely wherever we are while maintaining the secrecy of the code, we developed a system of assigning nick names.
Sometimes I wish we could share our nick names with the people who actually possess them.
If we slip up and they find out about their nicknames, we just create another one until we accidentally reveal that one, too which is why some people have as many as five names.
My personal favorites are 'Sally Anne, Delicious and Far Cry (you go, girl...)
1
We Grew Pumpkins
We could have grown flowers, but we grew gourds.
That's diva.

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