Cameron Simcik is a graduate of Bucknell University. She has written for Her Campus and is currently the Philadelphia Travel City Editor for The Daily Meal and a contributing writer for TheFW and GuySpeed.
As true gentleman, there are a few things we’ll never do. These include turning down an opportunity to receive a yoga boner and picking a fight with a grandma. Chivalry is dead these days, so it’s our duty to bring that crap back. While feasting our eyes upon yoga butt will never go out of style, Granny’s the one switching things up recently; Khandace Cossit has got some major beef, and she’s looking for a fight.
Honestly, how scary can a 56-year-old from Sandston, Va., be? Answer: very.
Just like our fellow testosterone-sweating, meat-loving friend Ron Swanson, we’re big fans of bacon. To put our love for the greasy snack into perspective, learning about the horrific pending bacon shortage sent us into a minor panic attack, but it’s difficult to fully encompass our feelings for the meat strips. Luckily, a bacon-loving middle-schooler has done that for us.
It’s rough being a two-year-old these days. Mom and dad don’t understand half the stuff that goes down at the playground, so it’s the duty of siblings to offer advice, keep them in check and give a little tough love.
We love the movies. Like, really really love the movies. Why? It’s an all-purpose venue! Want to experience a rollercoaster of emotions while feasting your eyes upon some Hollywood hotties? You got it! Or how about catching the latest horror flick with your friends just for the thrill of getting your pants scared off in the first 30 seconds? The movies can provide that for you too, my friend.
There are tons of things we love about America. Our grand ole’ country cranks out hysterical, nightmare-inducing shows about mini pageant queens and we throw Big Bird into the political scene, for example. But our recent discovery tops them all-- ladies and gentlemen, we live in the presence of the most recent world champion pumpkin grower.
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